How to stop overthinking: 4 tips to find your inner peace

Fascinating how writing an article about overthinking ultimately led me to overthink the whole process myself. Should the article be funny, witty or have a formal vibe? Should I even bring up therapy as a tool to combat anxiety and overthinking or is it an issue too big for me to tackle in this article? Do I even have the right qualification to talk about this in the first place? Since I don’t have an answer to all of these questions I might just cut the drama and get on with it.

What are the most common signs of overthinking? Focus and self-reflection are great, but if they present themselves as a repetitive action that ends up disrupting your day to day life it might be helpful to find ways to stop it.

But before looking into that, I’d like to “advocate” for overthinking for a sec, and want to remind you and myself that like many other human behaviors, overthinking is a form of survival mechanism – as in being able to predict future events and to brace for them in advance.

Some might also see overthinking as a umbrella term that is thrown onto anything we either don’t understand or don’t bother trying to. Your overthinking might seem unproductive and tiring by someone who can’t understand why you see this process as “productive”. The issue might seem reasonable and solvable to them, but insurmountable to you.

A recent research reported how 85% of what the subjects studied during the trial had worries that never ended up happening, AND even when taking into consideration that 15% that ultimately happen, 79% of the subjects reported discovering that they could either handle it better than they expected, or that the whole process ended up teaching them a lesson worth learning.

As Marc Anthony said after his defeat at the battle of Mutina ( at least in the HBO series Rome, not sure about real Marc Anthony’s take on this): “All my life I’ve been fearful of defeat, but now that it has finally come, it’s not nearly as bad as I expected. The sun still shines, water still tastes good. Glory is all well and good but life’s enough nay?”.

Let’s list some ways to ease up the pressure

1. Meditation

Life is chaotic, and especially if you’re commuting or living in a big city, noise and the constant movement around you might feel overwhelming and overstimulating. Taking time off to meditate and feeling your body and the space around you can ease these feelings and let you feel more in touch with yourself and with the present.

There’s plenty of evidence on the therapeutic effects of writing as well, even if it’s just a private diary that won’t ever see the light of day, even if you’ll never read it back or try to go through it with the help of a professional. Writing things down can help you “mark” that specific thought as “already processed” and move on.

2. Look around you

Are you worried about your career, an upcoming date, a presentation, the past, memories, life, love, death or happiness? If everything seems too much and the only way you’ve found to cope with anxiety is analyzing over and over again the same points, it might be helpful to find a distraction in neutral and trivial things that might be happening around you.

When you’re isolated, your matters start to seem HUGE. Then, you go somewhere public and hear people stressing, couples arguing, people laughing and just enjoying whatever it is they enjoy and you realize you are not doing THAT bad and your fears are only being magnified by your isolation. You know those leather blinkers horses wear during parades that stop them from seeing their back and their surroundings? Something like that.

3. Give yourself limits

And I’m not talking about defining the source of your worries or about giving yourself a time frame to deal with your sorrows. Many might find stimulant substances very helpful in dealing with anxiety and overthinking.

From caffeine to other substances, you might find something that works for you, that drowns the voices running amok at the back of your mind. Just keep in mind that treating the symptoms without addressing its cause will hardly lead to permanent change.

4. Therapy

This option is nothing new, and is one that is unfortunately not possible for everyone – whether this is because of limited financial resources, limited time or social stigma, seeing a professional might not be within everyone’s reach.

This being said, if overthinking is making your daily life unbearable you might want to look into Mindfulness therapy: a whole branch of therapy that is all about staying in the moment. Chaotic and runaway thoughts are usually rooted in the shame and regret of past actions and the worry about the future.

Mindfulness based cognitive therapy is a modern form of cognitive therapy that focuses on present moment awareness, meditation and breathing exercises that can help patients to break away from the negative thoughts. It goes without saying that these approaches are a long term commitment but it could eventually change your life for the better.

Conclusion

It’s a cruel state of existence, being your own worst enemy. Stopping a cycle of negative thoughts is a lot of work. Asking ourselves “how do I stop overthinking” is like googling how to get fit in 2 months or “how to fix my posture”. I try to remind myself of something someone once told me: “people are thinking of themselves most of the time. When you meet someone new, they’re far too preoccupied with whether they’re doing things right than judging every minute what you’re doing”. It takes practice, and like with everything you start doing, it takes time.